The OOB Archives - Multi Media Vol 2 - My Brain Hurts

Good evening, folks! (Actually I'm just assuming it's evening where you are as you read this - I really have no way of actually knowing WHAT time it is)... Welcome to our second edition of The OOB Archives - Multi Media!

I'll be posting random articles culled from this now long-defunct publication I did in the late 80s... just for, as my Out Of Bodies buddy Mark would say "shits and giggles!" Our second random stop - an article by another Out Of Bodies brother, Lloyd Goldfine (or Buzz Norton, the pseudonym he chose to use at the time of it's original publication back in October 1987) - titled...

 

My Brain Hurts!

by Lloyd Goldfine

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It all happened so fast that I'm not quite sure what transpired. But that's really the whole problem. That's why I need to write about it, to prove to myself that it really did occur and that I'm not mad.

My name?

My name is Manny Humblepie, and I live over Sapperstein's Deli, and I have four friends, and I'm allergic to cats and ragweed, and I never had a cavity until I was fourteen, and if you were to ask Larry Alcot (he's one of my friends that I was telling you about) he'd tell you...

 

LARRY ALCOT

"That fuckin' geek Manny is outta his freakin' skull! The guy is nutso! Strictly certifiable. You know what I'm sayin'?"

...that I'm perfectly sane, and also that I'm not even crazy, either. Larry's a good friend. That's why...

 

LARRY ALCOT

"Total wack job! Talkin' to his self and wearin' his pants so's you always gotta see the crack of his ass!!"

... I can't believe what happened. It's like, it's like it's all a blur,... although I clearly do remember Sally screaming...

 

SALLY BEST

"???"

 

...something just before her head came off. Did I say her HEAD came off? I think what I meant to say was that her HAT came off. It was her hat that had come off. Yes. I'm quite sure it was her hat. Not her head.

 

JAMIE ZED

"EEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAARRRGHHHHH!!!"

 

...Although that doesn't quite explain why Jamie started screaming.

Unless Jamie was SINGING. That's it. Jamie was singing when Sally's head came off.

Yes....

NO!! I mean Sally's HAT came off. Her hat came off while Jamie was signing. And as I recall, Ramon was dancing...

 

RAMON GOLDSTEIN

"EEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHH!!! I-I'm... I'm dying!!!"

 

..."Look at me" he said, "I'm dancing! I'm dancing!" Or something like that.

He danced so much, I remember, there was blood pulsing out of his eyes. His nose. He threw up his lungs, didn't he?

And I remember something about tools. Tools?... Yes. Ramon was dying while Jamie was singing, "If I Had A Hammer"...

 

JAMIE ZED

"GOD!!! HE'S GOT AN AXE!!!"

 

...I do believe it's all coming back to me now. Ramon, dancing up a storm, knocked Sally's head off while Jamie was singing that famous folk standard, "If I Had An Axe".

That's it.

I'm sure of it. Now I feel better. And the spasms have subsided as well. But wait! I left someone out.

Singing Jamie, hat-less Sally, dancing Ramon and someone else.

Oh yes. Larry.

Larry.

A name which has brought to my mind the reason I'm finding this all so hard to remember.

Sally's head... HACKED OFF before my very eyes!!!

I know why I'm having such a hard time thinking.

Jamie, screaming at the sights before him, and the sudden loss of his right hand!

The aluminum taste of blood in my throat. Burning my eyes. My own blood.

Ramon, thrashing around the floor in a growing red puddle!

It's the axe. He buried it into my head. He buried the hatchet!

Larry! His eyes are glazed,... he swings the axe wildly.

It was Larry. Or rather, it was Larry's need to punctuate his statements with that axe.

 

LARRY ALCOT

"I'm not going back there!"

SLASH!!

"I won't go back!!!"

CHOP!!

"I'M NOT THE ONE WHO'S CRAZY!!!"

CHOP!!!

 

(That was the axe violating my skull, embedding itself in my brain, and making things quite difficult for me, so very hard to recall..... coherently, I mean.)

The last thing I remember was Larry chasing after some Nuns. Or nurses. Or something like that.

I don't know why he reacted so,... so STRONGLY. We only wanted to help him.

He didn't have to take away Sally's hat. He didn't have to stop Jamie's song, or Ramon's dancing.

I thought he was our friend.

 

Fucking maniac.

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The OOB Archives - Multi Media Vol 1 - The man who proved to many that school doesn't have to be a living hell!

Good evening, folks! (Actually I'm just assuming it's evening where you are as you read this - I really have no way of actually knowing WHAT time it is)... Welcome to our first edition of The OOB Archives - Multi Media!

I'll be posting random articles culled from this now long-defunct publication I did in the late 80s... just for, as my Out Of Bodies buddy Mark would say "shits and giggles!" Our first random stop - an article by another Out Of Bodies brother, Joey Vento - first published October 1987 - titled...

 

The man who proved to many that school doesn't have to be a living hell!

by Joey Vento

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The first day I met Roy Frumkes I knew I was in store for quite a difference learning experience. You see, Roy Frumkes was my Screen Writing Teacher at the School Of Visual Arts here in New York City. Because of his manner, encouragment, and enthusiasm for all former starving artists, I could safely say, that he made a major effect on my life. 

Roy taught us how to write better screenplays and treatments as well as introducing us to such celebrities as Al Kildore (known for the Rocky and Bullwinkle comic strip), Harry Hamlin (actor from Clash Of The Titans), and Tom Savini (make-up artist for such classics as Dawn Of The Dead and Creepshow).

During my time in Roy's class I wrote three screenplays, blew off someone's hand for a film, andcracked some of my finest jokes! The thing is, Roy Frumkes was into everything his students were into. He just knew how to have fun.

I remember getting such good advice from him about my animation and just about anything. He was like a friend, not just a member of the faculty.

His class included such friends as Daniel Banic, Athur Forte, and some guy I only knew as Tom - who by the way shared my fascination with dimensional animation. There were a lot of friends and associates in the old days, and I remember how great it was to see everyone getting so creative at Mr. Frumkes' sessions. His class was definitely worth waiting for!

To demonstrate to our readers just one example of the craziness that went on in that class, one has to look to the time that Tom Savini came to visit our session.

I think Savini had just finished his make-up effects for DawnOf The Dead and had brought with him several decapitated heads and other bloody body parts from other films. Everyone was so excited! Anyway, Roy had introduced Tom to the class, as everyone applauded. Roy and Tom then sat down for a discussion and some classroom questions. The entire session was a joy to behold up to this point.

Suddenly, Savini had stood up as if to make a point about something. As we were all staring attentively he held up his arm and with a very sharp razor blade proceeded to slit his wrist. Bright red blood poured out of this freshly cut wound and streamed down his arm like a river. We all were shocked to say the least.

My friend Artie dropped his cigarette out of his mouth as I stood up to get a better look. A few pretty girls in the front row immediately had to leave the room for obvious reasons. Roy Frumkes was laughing of course, since this was all an elaborate joke planned out from the start, courtesy of him and Tom Savini.

I must tell you that I couldn't stop laughing myself, once I knew how the trick was devilishly set up. Savini had then explained to us that his wrist was cut using a fake razor with blood built into it - sort of like a syringe - a simple but nauseating effect.

 

After everyone had a good laugh, and some much needed coffee we all talked a little bit more with Mr. Savini and then said goodbye. It was a day I would never forget. Thanks to Roy Frumkes many of days in his class were like this - unexpected and surprising.

Well, the days and months passed, and we all did quite extraordinary in his course. I came away from this incredible learning experience with a new perspective about the was a teacher could make a difference in just how interested you become.

I also have the good fortune of knowing that Roy was more than my instructor, he was a damn good friend.

***Roy Frumkes had produced a tribute to the film "Dawn Of The Dead" in which he himself appears as an extra. (...an extra ghoul that is - you may know him as the pie in the face ghoul!)

 

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