Sunday, May 19, 2013

Mysterious Out Of Bodies photo sparks conspiracy theories

Conspiracy theories are circulating once again as to the legitimacy of the so called "band" who call themselves the Out Of Bodies, after a supposed "death" photo went viral on the internet last week. The photograph appears to show three of it's founding members, Donald Jefferes, Joe Vento and Dan Banic (circa 1986) sprawled out in the middle of College Point's busy 20th Avenue - a well known spot for frequent hit and run fatalities.

Music critics, who've previously grappled with the validity of the band's existence in the first place are now further perplexed as to how this group could possibly have continued to make music well into the 90s after their alleged demise in the late 80s. Conspiracy theories abound - some say while they believe the three may have indeed been dead, it could've been the marketing prowess of the two other Out Of Bodies members Lloyd Goldfine and Mark DeGross who carefully crafted the band's most prolific (albeit postmortem) musical period, through an extensive backlog of unfinished tracks, photo manipulation and hired "look-a-likes".

Forensic experts lean heavily on the side of the story that paints this photo as one of the most ingenious hoaxes of the 21st century. Tyrone Johnson, a graduating student from the John Jay College Of Criminal Justice, has studied the photographic evidence extensively - and without being able to determine any telltale signs of vehicle tire marks, the absence of trauma to the bodies or any signs of blood or entrails has forced Mr Johnson to come to the conclusion, "I don't see shhhheeeeeit!".

Another theory circulating is that out of the three, only Dan survived - and even though he's never discussed the event he did appear to include secret messages in his music video, "Death".


Opposing conspiracy theorists counter-theorize that Dan sings "Death is just a passing in the night", but the photo appears to have been taken in broad daylight. But the original theorists who claim this "Death" video does indeed show Dan's brief addressing of the event, and further claim that so distressed was he at the loss of his two buddies that he actually took the melody of this song and revamped it completely, changing subject matter and mood into the upbeat Out Of Bodies tune "Time Mind", never again referring to it's earlier composition.


  1. Milton Jefferes IIIMay 20, 2013 at 11:47 AM

    Don, a news blurb about that "Mysterious OOB" photo: "Three young males caught trying to expose their genitals while laying sprawled on the ground blocking traffic, were arrested by the Police earlier today. The perpetrators, crying hysterically while also wetting and defecating their pants, were hauled off to the nearest precinct for further questioning and humiliation. Bail has been denied while the trio are held in isolation, forced to hear non-stop music recordings by the MONKEES."

  2. Oh my God Donald , that was a great hilarious article. The funny thing looking at this photo it could be true , now I know how The Beatles felt with their rumors , Ha Ha !!! You should do more crazy articles like that , Ha Ha !!!

  3. Sick...just plain sick...Posing and photographing roadkill like that!

  4. HaHa!!!!!! Tis a real mystery!!!!

  5. One of the victims i heard had severe "slapmarks" to his outer thigh area. I don't know what that means..but it's damm peculiar.

  6. Self-inflicted slap marks, yes... that would be Joe... there'd also be mass amounts of 4C Iced Tea in his blood stream...

  7. Who the hell do you think found them dead and *posed* them in the middle of the road like that?? ...Suspiciously missing band members Lloyd & Mark...

    - A concerned witness

  8. So sad that the only pathetic individuals responding to this "story" are the GHOSTS of the bad members themselves...

    (Not to mention members of their grieving family, Milton!)

    - J Mahoney