Oh those crazy young lads! Taking a perfectly good song and RUINING it for EVERYBODY!!!
Dan and Donald late one night sitting in front of a boom box, feeling punchy and on a sugar high from one too many Lipton Iced Teas - THIS is what you get... no lyric sheets, neither Dan nor Donald knew any of the words, and Donald was cracking up Dan - talking about that XTC song that was beginning to get radio play and according to the press, a lot of controversy and hate mail, "Dear God".
Donald: "You know, Dan - that's an actual kid they got to sing the opening and closing!"
Dan: "You're kidding me!"
Donald: "No, I think that's Todd Rundgren's kid... or someone he knows." (Donald starts to imitate the kid's voice) "Dear God, hope you got my letter and..." (Dan cracks up - and starts to imitate the lead singer Andy Partridge - only making him sound more like Mortimer Snerd than Andy Partridge - they both continue laughing)...
Shortly after that - without thinking about it any further - someone presses the "record" button on the boom box...
Okay, okay - I get it - this apocalypse is going on longer than we thought it would and you're throwing bologna slices at your TV screen - anything, absolutely ANYTHING to keep yourself entertained! Well fear not, folks, here's just the distraction you've all been looking for... that's right... we've found MORE episodes of The Dick Bones Show - - HEY, SIT YOUR ASS DOWN!!!
Sorry I had to shout like that - everybody calm down... okay, here we go - THREE more hilarious episodes of The Dick Bones Show, picked exclusively with YOU in mind, because we have nothing else - I mean - because bringing you top notch entertainment is what we here at outofbodies.com are all abou- I SAID SIT DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That's EXACTLY what you'll be asking YOURSELF after watching our latest video addition to the archives! I really don't have too much of a description here that's going to make things any clearer... 'cept I found some horrendous impromptu comedy bits we did in my attic bedroom in College Point, Queens... and decided to present them as if they were being watched through Mutoscope penny arcade machines via the 1930s! ...Which led to an old Popeye cartoon I remember seeing where Wimpy is pulled to and from two competing arcades run by longtime best buddy/rivals, Popeye and Bluto! - - and then I remembered we did TWO Popeye related songs and decided why not throw those in too! And there you have it - one mixed up mess!
There that clears things up, didn't it? No?...
Well, try not to think too much about it... it's certainly not the WORST thing you'll see on YouTube these days! For what it's worth - ENJOY!!
Oh fer cryin' out loud - ANOTHER video? I mean - YES... another video!! Pulled out of the rubble, here's a rare, previously unreleased wheezer track for you to enjoy! This time it's the OOBs performing an impromptu version of "Mailman (Bring Me No More Blues)" - which was, to our ears at the time, an unreleased Beatles recording that really didn't get much exposure until The Beatles Anthology - Volume 3. We were always digging pretty deep into the Beatles unreleased material, being avid bootleg enthusiasts - finding little gems such as "Daddy's Little Boy" and "Suzy Parlor".
Mailman Blues, as we called it, never did get the 4-track treatment it deserved - but it did somehow end up getting recorded late one night on boom box - and video tape as well - although the snippet of it featured here looks like it went through a nuclear blast. As awful as it looks, however, it still offers a peek into what some of these impromptu recording sessions looked like - when a guitar found it's way into Dan's hands. Just three guys in an attic bedroom in a little town called College Point, New York. Lyrics? We don't need no stinkin' lyrics!
Stuck at home and growing tired of watching repeat episodes of The Andy Griffith Show on MeTV? (Oh no, wait a minute... that's just ME, isn't it?) Debating on whether or not it's worth the trip running to the grocery store only to find (if you're lucky) some third rate toilet paper? Whatever your stay at home situation is right now - like it says on the Belt parkway sign as you leave Brooklyn, just "Fuhgeddaboudit!" It's time for some welcome distractions - and although it might not be much, here's our contribution!
As promised, another video for you to enjoy - we're calling it "Quarantine TV" - featuring the absolute WORST acting you've ever seen or will see - and that INCLUDES anything by William Shatner... Enjoy!
This has always been one of my favorite tunes of Dan's - quintessential Out Of Bodies! Love everything about it - the fact that it seems Dan really cared this time to pay attention to lyrics is one thing "The rockin' man was built to make you swooh and sway - he's a rockin' little robot I know, I taught him how to play... emodulate his voice always, he'll sing some funk or British way... his speaker's louder than a roar, distortion is his only chord" I mean that's GENIUS!!
The other thing is, for the life of me, I couldn't begin to tell you how he made some of those sounds... that fuzzy guitar, the middle break where the bass takes over sweeping you up into some trippy little waltz - Oh I've TRIED to get the secrets out of Dan, I really have, but he won't fess up! Or maybe he gave us the answer in his lyric - is it really all just the distortion? What kind of devil play is this?
Anyway, a while back Dan did a video for this song - and I found some really, really LOST footage of us when we did the "I Wonder" music video - and I inserted it in, in essence creating a slightly different version altogether - presented here for the first time for your listening and viewing pleasure! If you like it make sure to visit the YouTube page and leave a comment!
We'll be posting more videos soon!
Whoever coined the phrase "There's no better audience than a CAPTIVE audience" probably wasn't talking about a killer virus pandemic - but since we're on the subject, whaddya say we just make the BEST of this mess - turn off the news, forget all the madness going on right now and watch MORE (that's right, I said MORE) of the Dick Bones Show!
After THAT you can go back to whatever it was you were doing - staring at the same old repeats on TV, seeing the same old commercials over and over again, pacing back and forth from the couch - to the toilet - to the fridge - to the couch... let's face it - The Dick Bones Show is probably going to be the HIGHLIGHT of your evening - so just get to it!!
Send your hate mail, I mean, leave your comments on his YouTube page! I'm sure it'll make his day too! Maybe he'll enjoy your comments so much he'll share it with the girl he's got down there in his basement pit! Lord knows she could use a laugh!
So stay safe! Enjoy some laughs - and try not to soil yourself! There's a toilet paper shortage, ya know!
Coronavirus Schmorovirus!! - FORGET about the outside world for a few moments - and enjoy the comedy stylings of Robb Hall of The Royd's! Here's two episodes of The Dick Bones Show! Send your hate mail, I mean, leave your comments on his YouTube page! This guy cracks me up!
other day I was rummaging through the OOB archives for something when a
random piece of yellowed loose leaf paper, neatly folded in fours, slipped out of the pages of some composition notebook and dropped onto the carpeting. "What's this?" I asked myself. And seeing that there was no one else there to answer me I decided to open it and see for myself.
Dated February 8, 1983 - it was a
hand-written true account of something that had happened about 13 years
even earlier than that! A cherished Elementary School memory saved to paper - written by Lloyd - chronicling a day when he and I were mere 3rd graders attending
Public School 135. Lloyd always had a great memory for such things - much better than myself - and reading it again brought it all back to me as if it had happened yesterday - except it happened 50 years ago!
It reveals a snap-shot in time... the thoughts of two
young boys not even ten years old... it very well might be the earliest written account of anything pertaining to our childhood - ever! It's a piece of our history, I suppose - and being such it might not make a lot of sense outside of the two of us - but I hope it's entertaining just the same! So let's all go back 50 years and see what Lloyd and Donald were up to...
...Down In The Lunchroom
I don't really remember why, but Don and I were down in the lunchroom, and except for us, the place was empty. I was doing' Mrs. Glaser impressions (nervously looking over my shoulder after each performance) and Donald was giggling (we used to "giggle"). But we weren't there just to make fun of mean ole, fat ole Mrs. Glaser - no sir! We were third graders! We was on serious business. A "mission" you might say.
I didn't really know why we were there, but Don did (and that was good enuff for me!) So we fooled around (a little tap dance on the table - a pantomime vomit because of the hot lunch...) while we waited for our "contact".
It was a girl. Not just any girl though - it was a real ugly girl. It was a real yucky girl. The yuckiest girl in the school... Hermione Galumph!* (Blechhh!) [*editor's note: Okay, yes - that's an OBVIOUSLY made up name - just GO with it!] But, like I said, we was on important business! (What else would keep us in the lunchroom alone with Hermione (yuck) Galumph?
She "schlepped" in from Stairway 6. She was wearing an extremely wrinkled shirt and an old lady sweater that was missing most of the buttons. And, though I really don't recall clearly, it's pretty fair to guess to say that she had a fairly large bubble of snot hanging from either nostril. But, the most important detail, and the reason we were there, was the large shopping bag she lugged along behind her.
I was surprised (actually shocked, horrified and repulsed) at Hermione Galumph's sudden appearance, but Don handled it matter-of-factly. Except for a slight involuntary shudder, one might have thought that Don was talking to a real human, instead of the mockery that shambled towards him!
We gave a cordial wave. I was behind him, sitting at a lunch table. He sat next to me as Hermione Galumph drew closer. I also shuddered.
"Let's see it", Don said, getting right down to business. We didn't have much time - lunch time would be starting soon and the room would fill up. "I have two" said Hermione Galumph, her voice a throaty honk. "Two?" I asked myself. "Two of WHAT?.... I don't think I want to see this."
"Let's see", said Donald, a bit impatient. I was beginning to have second thoughts about Don. I was almost definitely sure that I did not want to see anything that Hermione Galumph had TWO of! But, before I could protest, she exposed them! She thrust her arms into the shopping bags and - - I covered my eyes for a second!
When I opened them, I saw that she was pulling two red shiny plastic handles out of the shopping bags. Attached to the handles were various buttons! Attached to the various buttons were strings! Attached to the strings were... FAT AND SKINNY DOLLS!!
They were Laurel and Hardy push button marionettes! The first push button marionettes ever to enter our lives! I acted nice to Hermione Galumph and she let me play with Skinny. Don was already playing with Fatty (Hermione Galumph LIKED Don) and it was kind of appropriate that he would end up with Fatty and I would end up with Skinny. I made my marionette run up the tables and then fall off the edge - it was great fun!
Other kids began to trickle into the lunchroom, so Don and I helped Hermione Galumph put the push-button marionettes away, being careful not to tangle the strings.
Eight days later, Donald had Soupy!
The rest is history!
There is no way to explain the aforementioned Soupy. This is, without perhaps, opening up a whole 'nother Pandora's Box and raising all SORTS of questions - one of them being, and certainly NOT limited to, "what the hell was WRONG with those kids?" So let's just say, yeah - okay - we played with puppets - what 3rd grader didn't. Oh you didn't? Well - okay - let's just say THESE two kids did and leave it at that. Let's not get into what sort of personalities they projected into these puppets and who did what to who. After all we're not here to judge, are we? Yes - yes - let's just move along. Shall we? AHEM!!!...