Thursday, September 20, 2018

Existentialism 101 with The Dalai Deep Doodah


Greetings and Salutations, my friends.....

For all those who’ve found their way to this forum for an Out of Bodies happening, the bullsh*t stops here. To reach a full and thorough enlightenment, one must start with digesting a suitable portion of disagreeable edible fare that comes to one’s mind...after a length of time, let your noxious inner content culminate and expand your midsection. 

Yesss... that’s it, my friends..... now releasssssssse! Aaand that’s it..... You have just had an Out of Body experience..... consider yourself ‘enlightened’..... not very POPULAR, but enlightented. Lighting your emination is optional, at your own risk. If this should fail, take a dose of Beano, Pepto Bismol or Gas X or something- and yimminy christmas- crack a window or something, too! 

Love, Peace & Non-glutinous hair grease 
- Dalai Deepdoodah


Wednesday, June 27, 2018

Step up for the Mystery Tour with Haunted Barn!!


The Haunted Barn Movie Museum/Movies to Go

Haunted Barn presents our second screening of THE BEATLES, MAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR! Don't miss out on all the fun and sing along...(you know the songs!!)

Saturday, June 30th 6pm

Rare clips and haunted happenings of course... Joey's dad Sonny won a Rondo Award for Lifetime Achievement and Joey will be representing and accepting for him on the big Monster Bash stage in Pittsburgh next Saturday! We couldn't be prouder! It's also the 65th Anniversary of our patron saint of monsterdom... The Beast From 20,000 Fathoms too - so it's celebrations all around at the Haunted Barn! Hope to see our favorite fiends at the show!

The Chapel Theatre, 8 Old Dominion Rd, Blooming Grove, NY 10914


Tuesday, June 12, 2018

Gilbert Gottfried, Never Too Soon


Gilbert is a very funny lunatic...

Earlier this year, for my birthday, my wife surprised me with the gift of laughter - - we saw Gilbert Gottfried perform live for the first time. Within seconds he had me laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes... literally... as he pushed further and further into absurdity. There's no way to describe Gilbert's act while doing it justice - so I won't even try - just please, take my word for it and go see him. Check into his website every now and then - watch out for a gig near you - and just go... it will do you, as it did me, a world of good! Especially today in this world we live in - an evening of Gilbert is like medicine for the soul. Okay, so perhaps the suits at Aflac would disagree - but who cares about them? I liked him so much we saw him again - it was, I believe, even the same act! Gilbert seems to care little about keeping it fresh...

Just before seeing him live I had also caught his amazing "Gilbert" documentary... and I got the chance to tell him in person how I loved it - - and admitted to him something he's probably heard from many others about it - - how "I was expecting to laugh - but I wasn't expecting to cry" as it showed a very sweet side to his story - the parts that until then, almost no one but his closest friends and family got to see. He answered with an almost painfully shy "ohhh, thank you!" - a far cry from the boisterous on-stage persona I just witnessed.

Jump to present day - - I listen to his podcast which lives up to it's name "Gilbert Gottfried's Amazing Colossal Podcast" in which he and his co-host Frank Santopadre interview anyone still breathing from the hey-day of television, movies, the stage and music - - and because I invested in Stitcher Premium I also get "Gilbert and Frank's Amazing Colossal Obsessions" - which pretty much covers everything else from childhood memories to answering listener mail and Tweets. The idea to do the show in the first place came from Gilbert's wife Dara, who noticed how often he and Frank would spend long hours on the phone talking about old Hollywood - so why not put it out there and expand on the obsession, she suggested - and before you knew it Gilbert had a hit podcast on his hands. Gilbert himself, would admit freely, that he wouldn't even know where to find his own podcast if he had to. "Somewhere on the internet" he'd say.

---

But it's always nice to hear Gilbert reveal a bit more about Gilbert - his seemingly inexplainable climb into the upper echelons of comedy greatness - which is why I suppose I find myself every now and then typing his name into my searches. He's an interesting man - and more importantly genuine - and genuinely funny... and no matter how many times my wife says that his laugh is sometimes a bit "too much" I find it quite contagious. It's impossible to hear Gilbert laugh without eventually laughing yourself.

So with all of this said and done...
I repeat - go see Gilbert if you can - he's one of the greats... and in the meantime, here's a little interview I came across recently which will tell you a bit more about the man who brought tears to my eyes - and on more than just one occasion!!.... Enjoy!!


- - - 



An interview with Gilbert Gottfried

“I can’t believe it! I just don’t believe it! We are never gonna get ahold of that stupid lamp!” Gilbert Gottfried exclaims to a room full of adoring fans in Roger Ross Williams’ Oscar-nominated documentary, “Life, Animated.” For a fleeting moment, the comic was reprising his beloved role as Iago, the temperamental parrot in Disney’s “Aladdin,” whose blaring yet somehow lovable voice is identical to that of Gottfried’s stage persona. You’d think that after 25 years since the film’s release, the comic would rather holler, “I am never gonna get rid of this stupid line!”, but Gottfried seems to fully savor the crowd’s love. After he tweeted a string of jokes about the Japanese tsunami in 2011, he was fired from his job voicing the duck in Aflac commercials. Three years later, he launched “Gilbert Gottfried’s Amazing Colossal Podcast!”, an acclaimed series of uproarious conversations with show-business legends that has marked a new chapter in the comedian’s career. Now Gottfried himself is the subject of a documentary, Neil Berkeley’s thoroughly enjoyable and poignant “Gilbert,” which sheds new light on the comedian’s personal life as he enters the uncharted terrain of fatherhood.



Prior to its premiere, Gottfried spoke with RogerEbert(dot-com) about everything from schizophrenia and Nazis to the reason why no joke is “too soon.”

I was just laughing my head off listening to your latest podcast episode with Steven Wright before coming to meet you. What attracted you to the realm of podcasting?

It wasn’t my idea. It was my wife who told me that I should start a podcast, and since I live in the 1400s, I wouldn’t even know how to find my own podcast online. When people ask me where to find it, I go, “I don’t know, I guess on the internet somewhere.” The weird thing is that we have gotten a lot of older guests. I love old Hollywood, and yet this is a new sort of program, so I’m using a new method to discuss old Hollywood. On the show, we’ve had two of the original Catwomen, both Batman and Robin, Dick Van Dyke, two members of “F Troop,” and we recently interviewed Carl Reiner. People will ask me, “What’s a podcast?” and I say it’s like a radio show on your computer. I wasn’t expecting how many people would like the podcast as well as the documentary.

Has it been unusual to contrast your persona on the podcast with your persona in the film?

God, it’s definitely schizophrenic. I found out that schizophrenia as we understand it from watching movies—where all of a sudden you are a French character, or you’re an old lady, or you’re a general in the army—is not at all what it is actually like in real life. [pauses] I just said that to reveal my vast intelligence. [laughs]

My dad is a social worker, so he would agree with you.

Oh yes. I’m sure he would know that’s not really schizophrenia. People who are schizophrenic don’t all of a sudden go, [in French accent] “My name is Pierre.” I want to meet one psychologist or psychiatrist who has ever once met a “crazy” person—which I believe is the correct term for it—who has done celebrity impersonations. You see that on TV shows. They’ll hire an actor who can imitate Jack Nicholson or Al Pacino to play a schizophrenic. When I see a crazy person like that in a movie, I go, “Why don’t they just book him in Vegas?” [laughs]



How did Neil Berkeley make you feel comfortable enough to make this documentary?

He never made me feel comfortable. I was always on edge. I’ve seen the film about three times, and the experience of watching it is close to what I envision hell being like. You die, the Devil puts you in a chair, and you’re forced to watch every section of your life on a screen.

Like Albert Brooks in “Defending Your Life.”

Exactly! I think that has to be the worst possible thing to sit through.

What has it been like viewing comedy through the eyes of your children?

There’s one part in the movie where someone asks my son, “Do you think your father’s funny?” He thinks about it for a long time and then goes, “No.” [laughs] I am very proud of my son, and there was one particular time where I was really proud of him. He was very small at the time—he’s seven now—and he asked me, “Daddy, tell me a joke that’s inappropriate for children.” That's when I realized I didn’t need to do a DNA test on him. He is definitely my son.

To what extent did you have creative control over Iago in “Aladdin”?

They definitely left it open for me to be able to play around and throw in lines. When they are recording your voice, they have a video camera in the room so they can capture your facial expressions, which influenced the way that the parrot was drawn. One time, the artist showed me a drawing he made where you see a caricature of me that slowly transforms into Iago. There was a particular line in the film that I had ad-libbed, and someone told me that Robin Williams cracked up when he heard it. It was during a scene where Iago and Jafar have to escape, and I go, “Quick, let’s get everything: the guns, the knives, the hand grenades—and what about this picture of me? Do you like it? I think I’m making a weird face in it.” That was a lot of fun. Of course, every now and then, they would have to stop me and go, “This is a Disney film. We can’t really use that word.” [laughs]

For people who grew up watching you as Iago, it was wonderful to see you recite his lines in “Life, Animated.”

That documentary was another weird thing that came about. It tells a story that I first heard about in the New York Times about this writer, Ron Suskind, whose son is autistic. Ever since the boy was three, he had fallen deeper and deeper into it to the point where you couldn’t have any communication with him. It was like he was underwater. He would watch Disney films all day long, and Ron saw that in his son’s room, he had an Iago puppet lying on the floor. The father picked it up, put it on his hand and did an imitation of me. His son looked at the parrot who was speaking in my voice and reacted to it as if it was an old friend. He had a conversation with the parrot, and when I heard that, I remember thinking, “See? I can do some incredibly wonderful things … as long as I’m not directly involved.” [laughs] If I was directly involved, there’d be some major screw-up and a lawsuit.

Ron’s son was in this school for children on the spectrum, as they call it, and had started a club there where he and the other kids analyze Disney films. Even if you recorded a Disney movie, your version of it would be less accurate than the one these kids have in their minds. They know every single line and every single thing that will happen in each scene. It was his father’s idea for me to come over and surprise him. They were reenacting scenes from “Aladdin” when I popped in and they all went wild. I was worried that I would say something offensive and that it would end up in every paper. But I found that once I was up there, I could be sarcastic, and the kids would catch the humor and laugh. That was definitely a memorable event, and I still talk to this kid. He just called to wish me a happy Passover. [laughs]



It seems that many Americans are migrating toward the perspective that it’s not “too soon” to joke about disturbing subject matter, especially regarding the current state of our government.

There have been a lot of times throughout history where people have said, “Now more than ever, we need comedy.” Since we’ve got Donald Trump in office, people are saying the same thing. “Now more than ever, we need comedy!” And I’m thinking, “As opposed to when the Black Plague was going on, the Holocaust was going on…” This is really the first time that we’ve had a bad time in this world? Here’s how I feel about the “too soon” argument: When I do a joke, it’s always too soon, because it will be about what’s happening at that exact moment. People will tell me, “You should’ve waited,” but in my mind, I feel like I’m being more sensitive than someone who waits to tell a joke about a tragedy. I do a joke about September 11th or a tsunami when it’s actually happening, and they are designed to have shock value. People will laugh and then they will cover their mouths and think, “Oh god, how could he say something so terrible?” If you wait, you’re considered a good person, and then you can do all the jokes you want about the Titanic. But I think you’re actually a more insensitive person because by waiting and saying that it’s okay, you’re going, “All of those people who died don’t matter. They’re dead, forget about them. The hell with them.” At least with me, I make sure the audience is really uncomfortable when they hear the joke.

It’s more sensitive for comedians to acknowledge a tragedy in their jokes rather than avoid it.

Yes! When people say to me, “How do you do jokes on those topics? Don’t you realize the heartbreak and the tragedy?” And I go, “Yeah, that’s where the joke stems from.”

I love the scene in “Gilbert” where you manage to win back an audience by pushing them into even more uncomfortable territory with the Aristocrats joke.

It was a few days after September 11th, and I performed at an event in New York. All over the world, people were in shock, but in New York, there were black clouds floating in the air for what seemed like months. They were hanging over the room and over the whole city. As you know, I’m drawn to that. So I made a September 11th joke and it lost the audience as much as it possibly could. People were hissing and booing. One guy yelled, “Too soon,” and I thought he meant I didn’t take a long enough pause between the set-up and the punchline. [laughs] Then I go into the Aristocrats joke, which is about incest and bestiality, and the crowd was howling with laughter. I thought it proved my point about comedy and tragedy. One critic wrote that it was as if I had performed a mass tracheotomy on the crowd. It was one of those instances where they needed to laugh, they needed some sort of release.

The scene where you meet the historical reenactors in St. Charles, Illinois, is also hilarious.

A lot of people who watch the documentary think that scene was all planned because it certainly looks like it was. You’d think there’s no way that could happen in real life. There were people in town reenacting many different wars—WWII, WWI, Vietnam, the Civil War…and my favorite, of course, was WWII. All these Nazis were running over, putting their arms around me and taking selfies, and I’m thinking, “Gee, the Third Reich really wasn’t all that bad. The History Channel has it all wrong. Nazis are some of the nicest people.” [laughs]

Has your embrace of humor made jokes aimed at you easier to take?

It’s kind of like at a roast. I can say any bad thing about another person, but if they start making fun of the shirt I’m wearing, I go, “Oh come on, that’s just—it’s one thing to joke, but now you’re taking it to a really cruel area.” [laughs] So I’m as hypocritical as anybody.

Gilbert and an adoring fan - January 2018


- - -

Tuesday, April 10, 2018

A loving tribute to Chuck McCann

Goodbye, Mr. Dreamfinder

 


We lost another great entertainer a couple of days ago - the very funny beloved children's entertainer and early-television pioneer Chuck McCann! My earliest introduction to this very silly man was from early television where'd he'd be seen on WPIX-TV's Chuck McCann Show, dressing up in funny costumes portraying characters straight out of the Sunday Comics like Dick Tracy and Little Orphan Annie - but he'd find ways to weave in and out of my childhood memories by also being the voice of the Cocoa Puffs bird "Yahoo - Coo Coo for Cocoa Puffs!" and being one half of the comedy duo with Bob Denver in the Saturday morning sitcom "Far Out Space Nuts"! And although the ride no longer exists, I distinctively remember Chuck McCann as being the voice of Dreamfinder on the Journey To Imagination Ride at Disney World! I remember being a little disappointed on one return trip to find out he had been replaced by Eric Idle (who I also love, mind you - but for some reason McCann's version just seemed to fit more organically).


And no one did a better Oliver Hardy! Throughout his career he would often don the bowler hat whenever an opportunity arose - and with his comedy partner Jim MacGeorge as Stan Laurel he was absolutely hilarious! Imagine my shock while viewing a music video of Harry Nilsson at a Beatlefest convention some years back - watching Nilsson dribble a basketball in his driveway, while suddenly (for no apparent reason) watching from across the way is Chuck McCann (as Oliver Hardy) watering his bushes! Surprised at Harry's seemingly impossible hoop shot he does that exasperated Oliver-Hardy take with his arms! At the end of the video, there he was again - eyeballing the end of his hose when it appeared to stop watering - only to (of course) have it suddenly spray jets in his face! No one nearby knew why I was laughing so hard - but it didn't matter - once again I had been McCann-attacked! And I was lovin' it!


Then more recently, I just stumbled upon a whole new generation of Chuck-appreciators on YouTube, when Chuck released a few videos he had made. He was clearly much older, but just as silly as ever - and it was all so familiar and brilliant - Chuck being Chuck. He still had the weirdness - the quirky comedy timing - and most of all, an obvious love for that old, retro style of funny... it might take me days before I can find the words to describe it - perhaps I never will... but when you see it you'll know what I mean. It's a style of comedy you don't see too often these days. It's old school, naughty but innocent, vintage and yet oddly appropriate for today...


Anyway - these are some clips I put up on YouTube some time back - some extremely rare video clips I purchased a long time ago and one day I just decided to share it with the masses - because it deserved to be shared...

Enjoy the clips! Share 'em! Spread the laughter! - - and THANK YOU, Chuck!!!







Sunday, March 18, 2018

Look mom, no legs!

The Amputee Humor of Mark DeGross


It's no wonder Mark and I hit it off so well when we met 40 years ago... we both shared the same sense of humor! For some reason, and I don't know why (although one might argue "why not?") we were particularly amused by amputees... not just people who were amputees per say - but people who were pissed off about their legless situation. It seemed funnier if they were suddenly missing their legs - somehow "robbed" of them without their knowing. And to kick it up (no pun intended) a few notches - it seemed hilarious that they somehow managed to make use of coffee can lids to cover up their stumps. Yes, yes - I know what you're thinking - why, those sick bastards!! And perhaps you'd be right. But just be thankful that we decided to express ourselves THIS way as opposed to countless other ways that I won't even get into right now.

Just enjoy the drawings - and please direct any hate mail towards Leonard Schecter... he's the one who supplied Mark with the paper!...




Saturday, March 10, 2018

Joey's Haunted Barn Nominated for Rondo Award!

Our Out of Bodies brother Joey has just announced that his Haunted Barn has been nominated for this year's Rondo Award in the Category of
*** Monster Kid of the Year! ***
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
We humbly encourage you all to vote for him by simply clicking HERE to send an email and say you'd like to vote:
Category 28 - Joey Vento/Monsterkid of the Year!

(If the email link above doesn't work for you for some reason, please just send an email the old fashioned way - send to: taraco@aol.com (David Colton) - - and we thank you kindly!)


Voting ends April 8th!

...The Haunted Bar?

Thursday, December 28, 2017

It was 40 years ago today...

(Well, give or take a year or so...)
What am I referring to? Well, perhaps I'm jumping ahead of things... or leaping way back... what am I saying? I dunno... Let me start again...

Our Out Of Bodies Holiday page, which features some Holiday music we've sent to each other throughout the years, has inspired an old friend of ours to send us a recording of his own... Art & Design schoolmate Hector Noel sent along this nice little rendition of him playing John Lennon's "Happy Christmas (War Is Over)"...


He wrote of it...
"...me playing Lennon - you kinda inspired it because of the Out of Bodies and High School - we were Sgt Pepper!"

With a Little Help From My Friends...

Wow! Yes, I guess we were...
...my recollections are a little sketchy about this - but as I recall, at some point Hector brought in this amazing hand-made Sgt. Pepper's outfit that his grandmother had made for him! I mean, this beautiful, thoughtful grand ma-ma had made a beautiful, authentic looking Sgt. Pepper jacket with her own hands for her Beatles-obsessed grandson - how cool is that? Anyway, he brings it in to school - knowing full well that I too was a Beatles fanatic - and together somehow this sparked a desire for us to attempt our OWN re-creation of the Sgt. Pepper album cover, with US as the fab four!

Hector as Paul McCartney

He was going to be Paul (he kind of had the baby-face thing going, and after all, it was HIS suit) and I was going to be George (the hair, I guess) and two other classmates were going to be John and Ringo - although at the time neither of them knew it yet. Now, we only had ONE suit, so we were going to take turns wearing it - and with the help of Dr Martin inks (remember, this was pre-Photoshop days!) we were going to hand color black n' white photographs accordingly. It was a BIG project (to say the least) that was going to incorporate photography and a lot of snipping, cutting and gluing - but in the end we were all going to have our own photo of the final Pepper cover for our own... it was an exciting endeavor...

Donald as George (with oh-so-fake mustache)

So Hector, who majored in Film Making, and who also was no doubt familiar with photography - took a series of photographs after one of our classes (probably photography) with and without cheesy glue-on mustaches that we hastily made for the shoot (which looked absolutely awful) - and we posed in positions that were sort of half-ass planned to be inserted with instruments we didn't own. We did have Hector's bass guitar though - and as he recently mentioned to me he also brought in a clarinet (which I don't remember at all) and he assures me that he still has the myth-busting photographs to prove it... lying somewhere underneath his house, stored in a Tupperware container. He promised he would fetch them, and when he told me this it was like hearing he had found the Holy Grail. I wrote him "don't let me wait too long - I am running around in circles!"

Let It Be...
Well, like a lot of plans back then - the Sgt Pepper cover project eventually fell apart. I don't know exactly WHY, but I think it had something to do with the guy we had planned on using as Ringo. Evidently, the guy we approached to be our Ringo was actually INSULTED that we thought he looked like Ringo! (Funny! And not to mention a little insulting to Ringo Starr, but true!) - - and I recall that he first said no, then okay (reluctantly) and then NO again - and that was it - we lost our Ringo.

The Ringo that got away.

Now John, I am drawing a blank on John. Who could've been our John? I do know that totally separate from this project I had taken some pics of Lloyd as John Lennon - but it was clearly a 1980 Double Fantasy John Lennon that we had snapped a few years after graduation.

Lloyd as John Lennon, circa 1980.

The Pepper project John - well, I can only assume that out of everyone I knew back then that had even an inkling of Lennon-esque looks - Dan actually fit the bill. I'd have to ask him. Come to think of it, yes... I think it was Dan.

We had Dan in mind for John.


...and in The End...
So there goes the story of the Sgt Pepper remake cover that never happened. This story actually belongs in Ponderings... perhaps if I get around to it, I will add it there. And just maybe Hector will get around to crawling under his house and finding that Tupperware of pictures - so that I can assure myself that it actually happened - and that it wasn't all just a fever dream I had once. And yes, you'd think that the few pics I have myself that I posted here would be proof enough - well, according to Hector almost anything can be faked... just ask him about the Twin Towers, he'll tell you. Wait, on second thought don't do that...
...please don't...

Wait a second... I thought Hector was supposed to be Paul!


to be continued...

---


Sunday, December 24, 2017

Merry Christmas from the Out of Bodies!


What would Christmas be without some cheesy holiday music?
Enjoy some tunes from us to you and yours!


^^^

Thursday, November 23, 2017

Haunted Barn's KONGSGIVING Show!


The Haunted Barn Movie Museum/Movies to Go

Step into Thanksgiving 1970s as we remembered it!  It was a NYC tradition and Haunted Barn is going to re-create for you...we're not even shutting the lights...a very impromptu KONGSGIVING to get to know new members and to celebrate with old fiends!!  Please bring a snack or drink to share with your fellow Skull Islanders. This is the actual Channel 9 broadcast of the "Holiday Movie Special" complete with ALL the original commercials you love! Come share it all over again with us!!!

This Saturday evening, November 25 at 7:30

The Chapel Theatre, 8 Old Dominion Rd, Blooming Grove, NY
 
The usual rare clips, bad jokes and a KONG-SIZED announcement that you won't want to miss!!
See you all at the show!!!


Thursday, September 7, 2017

An OOB Limerick


There once was a heavy Barista... 
who used to be from Sandanista...
She brought cafe au lait
but the men wouldn't pay...
So she sat on their face with her keista.

-Mark DeGross/Edward Yutkowitz 

 

Saturday, August 26, 2017

Greetings from the Out of Bodies!

Well.... TWO of them, anyway...

Donald Jefferes and Joe Vento pose with a Haunted Barn Movie Museum/Movies to Go kiosk,
April 2017

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Them again?


Yes! After months of procrastination I've finally decided to update our humble little website, fix all the random little links previously rendered obsolete by outdated script - and generally give it a good once-over to ensure everything works like it's supposed to... in particular our MUSIC page - which, thanks to the good people at computer-geek you can now listen to our sound with an ALL NEW streaming player made for easy cross-browser compatibility, bringing you continuous OOBy goodness - - no matter which computer browser you prefer to use!

So DO drop in again and check out our latest additions! There's always something stupid, I mean NEW to discover at outofbodies.com!!!

Friday, June 23, 2017

Do Not Open!!!

No no no - - I said DO NOT OPEN!!!


Ohhhhhh...... too late!!!

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Today's cartoon!


Many Out Of Bodies sessions were saved,
thanks to this tried and trusted method...

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Out of Bodies Unsolved Mysteries - Part Two

The Haunted Toy Robot
submitted by Mark DeGross

Consider for your disapproval... Upon my 54th birthday, I received a parcel from my Brother. I eagerly opened the package to find the iconic Lost in Space 'B-9' robot, from the classic sci-fi space series. Standing at 11" tall, once a button on its side is pressed, its lights flash and it utters several familiar phrases- "Warning!..warning!!" "Danger!!" "That does not Compute", and a few others. I decided to leave it boxed and placed it with the rest of my collectibles of my boyhood memories...



...and then it started...

...about a year later, the lights started to randomly flash anywheres from 5 to 10 minutes automatically, with no button push assistance... occurring quite often! Thinking maybe it was an ominous signal that my brother was in trouble, I had contacted him to see if all was okay with him, in which we shared a laugh over my haunted B-9. So now I think that maybe the spirit of Bob May, the robot's operator, who passed a few years ago is reacting with the toy..I only know one thing for sure... if it begins to talk on its own as well, I'll CRAP MY PANTS!!!...

 


*Disclaimer: No button was pushed, crack pipes smoked or magic mushrooms consumed in the making of this video.

Sunday, March 26, 2017

Out Of Bodies Unsolved Mysteries - Part One



The Unexplained Basket of Dolls at Dan's House

To this very day I STILL haven't gotten an answer about this strange mystery - with the possible exception of when Dan said earlier this month "I had nuthin' to do with that - that was all my mom!" ...But I felt compelled to at least convey this haunting to Dan, and perhaps put it all to rest when I wrote him the following...

Dan... I remember your mom had a really creepy basket of dolls that was just sort of.... THERE.... in your living room....

There was NEVER any explanation for it - just a large wicker basket with a heap of doll bodies piled up on top of each other... mostly CLOWNS I believe. There was nothing to suggest these dolls were on display as cherished collectibles or anything like that - as it was just a ragged heap of doll bodies - some faced down, some peering out from underneath others - some dolls were completely out of view altogether!

At closer inspection (if you bothered to get close enough to look) you'd notice these dolls were less than perfect... they had cracks in their faces, splits across their noses, tears and stains in their fabric - like they were obtained from the bottom of Buffalo Bill's basement pit from that Silence Of The Lambs movie...

...and what was worse is they were RIGHT THERE near the entrance way to "GREET YOU" when you came in - and GLARE at you when you left! Mind you, considering some of the other eye-catching oddities your mom had in her living room - like the paint-by-numbers and puzzle art she had hanging on the wall - this pile of dolls wasn't COMPLETELY out of place - but it did manage to jar your senses when you would stumble upon it - it was unsettling... this battered pile of doll bodies... it was as if one had stumbled upon a horrifying mass grave!!

Even your mother's bird that was in a cage just a few feet away knew something was wrong - the poor thing would hardly ever make a SOUND!! One can only imagine what that bird has seen - but dare not speak of...

On one occasion I remember feeling particularly fearless as we were doing one of our music videos in your living room. I remember picking up one of them and wiggling it at the video camera. Remember that, Dan? If you need a visual to jog your memory, well, here it is...



Funny at the time? Well, maybe. But it was no laughing matter, Dan... It did, and still does give me the chills - and Joey won't even SPEAK of it. Lloyd claims to have not noticed, although I feel he is just burying it in his subliminal conscious - and Mark, well I haven't asked Mark yet, but I'm sure if I did it would make him ball up in a fetal position.

You can tell me now, Dan... I mean, it's been YEARS - what's the story with that creepy basket of dolls? WHY DAN? WHY WERE THEY THERE? FOR GOD'S SAKE DAN!!

WHAT HAPPENED IN THAT HOUSE??....


Monday, January 9, 2017

Sarah Silverman in a gorilla suit - just because!!

Hey Joey, with my adulation of Sarah Silverman and your penchant for Gorilla suits - here's something to get us BOTH a little warm and toasty on a miserable wintery Monday!! Enjoy, buddy!!